


the smartest thing I ever did was love you

by Janina



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/F, Forbidden Love, May/December Relationship, Mentions of Cersei, Sneaking Around, age gap, modern day AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 07:47:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6461869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janina/pseuds/Janina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a Tumblr prompt fill: Jaime x Sansa sneaking around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the smartest thing I ever did was love you

His ex-wife had liked to tell him that he was stupid. Jaime had thought she was onto something when realized his error in marrying the adulterous Cersei in the first place. But then, Cersei led most men around by their dicks and he had been no exception despite how special he liked to think he was. 

It had taken some time for him to get back to himself after they’d split (he’d caught her in bed with her trainer) and she’d cleaned him out of almost everything. His father had pushed him out of the family firm citing he couldn’t have his son sullying the Lannister name with his “stupidity”. 

Okay, so that made two people who thought him stupid. 

So, he’d done what any self-respecting (broken, shell of a) man would do: He picked himself up by the bootstraps (knock-off Berluti’s since he couldn’t afford the real thing at the present moment) and got himself a job at the Stark family firm. He was in enemy territory and had fully expected to be laughed out of the office (of course Stark & Associates would be located in a cozy renovated house instead of the tenth floor of a high rise like his family’s firm). Instead, Ned Stark (annoyingly fair and just) had hired him. His son, Robb, had watched him with a slight curl to his lip. Robb’s reception closely fitted what Jaime had been expecting. Tywin Lannister and Ned Stark had known each other for years and hated each other. Tywin was not above attempting to steal Ned’s clients. Ned didn’t even fight for them, which Jaime had never understood. But as Jaime had begun to learn, Ned Stark was not only aforementioned annoyingly fair and just, but he could also be a live and let live type. If his clients could so easily be swayed by another firm, then perhaps they wouldn’t be happy with the work Stark & Associates did for them. 

And when Jaime began working for Ned all he wanted to do was wage war on his father and lure clients away from the Lannisters and right toward the Starks. But he didn’t. He kept his head down and did what he was supposed to do. Ned was kind to him, but Robb had moments of extreme iciness. Edmure Tully avoided him for the most part and Benjen (Ben) Stark would check on him throughout the day by coming in and stealing a few candies from Jaime’s candy dish on his desk, chat with him for a bit, and then leave. Jaime suspected it was the candies Ben was after and not so much to connect with him. 

He had just started to get the ground back under his feet and feel less stupid since his divorce when Ned Stark’s eldest daughter came home for summer break. Ned had went on and on in the breakroom that morning while Jaime was trying to just get a simple cup of coffee about Sansa and how he and Cat had been worried about her after she’d broken up with her boyfriend a few months ago and how they certainly hoped her major in marketing would pay off. He told Jaime that Sansa would be working for the firm to make some extra money and if Jaime needed her to do anything to just let her know. 

Jaime didn’t think he’d need another Stark to glare at him (Robb) or steal his candy (Ben). 

That afternoon he was in his office poring over some documents when a knock followed by a breathy hello came from the door. He looked up and hoped his eyes didn’t bug out of his head at the sight of possibly the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen – and Cersei had always been a knockout so that was saying something. She had long red hair that fell past her shoulders and blue eyes that reminded him of Edmure and Catelyn Stark…

“Are you Sansa Stark?” he asked the Goddess standing in the doorway. 

She smiled (her lips were pink and glossy and he wondered if she had one of those flavored glosses his daughter Myrcella liked). “I am. And you’re Jaime Lannister. The lion among wolves. How goes it?”

He smiled, thinking she had some cheek. “It’s going well.”

Before anything else could be said, Ben came up beside Sansa and nudged her with his shoulder. “Can I ask you a favor?” he asked her. 

“Is it really a favor, Uncle Ben, if I’m working here?” she asked. 

Ben grinned and casually strolled inside Jaime’s office. Jaime watched him go right for the candy dish. He’d gotten chewy peppermint candy this time thinking it might deter Ben. It didn’t. He scooped up a handful and tossed some in his mouth. He made a face, but kept on going anyway. 

“I suppose not,” Ben said. “Follow me?”

Sansa nodded, waved to Jaime, and then followed Ben down to his office. Jaime rolled his chair to the side so he could watch Sansa Stark walk away. She wasn’t dressed provocatively in the least – black skirt that fell past her knees and a flowy pink top – but Jaime still couldn’t help himself. Those legs….

He wanted them wrapped around him. 

_You’re a sick fuck_ , he scolded himself. Sansa was almost twenty years younger than he was. To her he was probably ancient. Yes, he was still a good-looking man at thirty-eight years of age. He had an angular face, green eyes, and a strong jawline. He was what Cersei had described as “boyishly handsome”. His dirty blond hair was cut short and he’d gotten rid of his depression beard, so he was clean shaven. Once his green eyes had sparkled with humor but now, to him, they appeared lifeless and flat. 

So yeah, he was a handsome guy and thirty-eight wasn’t old, but Sansa was twenty-three and even though she was of age, it wouldn’t be right. He’d be stupid to even go down that road and he was done being stupid. 

xxxxxxxx

Sansa kind to him, saying hello to him when she passed by his office though she never stepped a foot inside. He’d noticed she’d made a difference in the office too. For one, there were fresh flowers in the breakroom. There were K-cups for hot chocolate next to the coffee and marshmallows in the cabinet. Instead of the standard yellow post-its in the supply closet there a variety of bright colors to choose from. Plus, the supply closet was just completely well-stocked and when a box of pens was picked over, it was thrown out. It didn’t linger in the closet for weeks until someone finally got sick of seeing it (usually Ned). 

The halls smelled of her. Not in an overpowering way, but in a lingering I-wonder-where-she-is kind of way. Her laughter rang out down the hall too and it sounded to Jaime like freedom and innocence and passion for life. (He had at least one of those things since divorcing Cersei.) He smiled every time he heard her laugh. Later, he would realize that was the first thing he’d fallen for. 

After she’d been there a month she came to see him. She stood in the doorway again and leaned against it, arms folded across her chest. Today she had her hair done up in a bun with a pencil stuck through it. She wore a pencil skirt and a blouse with a suit jacket unbuttoned. She leaned her head against the door. “Mr. Lannister.”

Jaime smiled. “Call me Jaime.”

“Jaime. Why don’t you ask for my help?”

He blinked. “Pardon?”

“My father, my brother, and my uncles all ask me to do stuff for them. You don’t. Why? Do you not trust me to do a good job?”

How did he tell her that she was a temptation he didn’t want and certainly didn’t need? He didn’t. Instead he said what was partly the truth: “Well, I suppose because I still feel fairly new here and being in what you called ‘enemy territory’…I guess I don’t want to take advantage of the man who hired me by calling on you for things I can do for myself.”

She swung a foot out and he thought perhaps she’d step inside, but she didn’t. Instead she crossed it over her other leg. “Yes, but all of them can do what they’ve asked me and the other paralegals to do. But I am getting paid to do it so if you have work I can do to make your load lighter…”

He smirked at her as he leaned back in his chair. He felt a flirt coming on and he wasn’t able to stop it. “You won’t even step foot in my office, Sansa.” God, he liked the sound of her name coming out of his mouth a bit too much.

She arched a brow and stepped inside, looking at him triumphantly. 

Jaime felt a bit breathless. She had crossed the threshold. Her scent was already reaching him. He wondered if there was something about that aura shit he’d heard one of the paralegals talking about the other day, because he felt as though he was already being enveloped by the essence of Sansa Stark: sweetness, innocence, and passion for life. Although, perhaps it was the passion for something else that he was feeling. 

“Well?” she prompted. 

He stood. “All right, come here and I’ll show you what you can do for me.”

It was shit work, just making a bunch of copies for him, but she listened to him closely as he spoke, her head bent over the papers he was showing her. When he was done, she looked up at him and smiled. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her she was so beautiful, but he kept his thoughts to himself and just smiled back at her. 

“Busy, Sansa?” Ben asked as he waltzed inside and, as always, went for the candy dish. Jaime sighed. He was going to have to buy more candy. 

“I am,” Sansa chirped and winked at Jaime before heading off. 

Ben shrugged and ambled back out of the office, munching away on Jaime’s M&M’s. 

The following morning, there was a bag of mini Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and a note:

_Uncle Benjen hates peanut butter. The packets you asked for are on your chair. Call me if you need me. ~ S_

Jaime smiled and after lifting the packets off his chair and onto his desk, he pulled the pink post-it note off the bag of candy and put it in his pocket instead of just throwing it out. He was aware he was being stupid. He just didn’t care. 

xxxxxxxxxx

 

Though Jaime didn’t call on Sansa often for help, he at least did now. And she always looked so pleased when he did. Plus, he learned that what he liked about Sansa when she came to see him was how she never just waltzed in. She always knocked and said Hello despite the fact that his door was wide open. He liked that she respected his space. 

He also liked her smile, and when she wore skirts and the color blue. He liked that she teased him and that he could tease her back. He liked how she listened to instructions and asked questions. He liked that she bought him candy when she noticed he was going low and that she left him little notes each and every time. And he kept them all. 

Another month in and one afternoon as he was coming down the hall, Sansa emerged from the bathroom and was wiping at her eyes. She sniffled and ducked her head when she saw him and attempted to skirt past him with a subdued, “Hello, Jaime.”

He had grabbed her arm before he could even think about it. He dropped it immediately. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just – what’s wrong, Sansa?”

She sniffled again and her eyes welled up in tears. “It’s just my ex…he’s seeing someone new and it just hit me the wrong way.”

Jaime understood that feeling all too well. Though in his case he expected Cersei to move on rather quickly considering she’d apparently been cheating on him their entire marriage. He’d just been hit the wrong way by catching her in bed with the trainer. As anyone else would have been. 

“Let me make you some hot chocolate,” he said. “Meet me in my office?”

She looked surprised by this offer, but then nodded and headed down to his office while he went to the breakroom to make her a cup of hot chocolate loaded with marshmallows, just as he knew she liked it. 

When he got to his office he found her on the leather couch he had against the wall, knees together, tissues in hand looking at once prim and proper and a bit disheveled. He handed her the cup of hot chocolate, which she accepted with a watery smile, and then he grabbed the box of tissues off his desk and placed them next to her. Then he grabbed the waste basket and put them near her. She laughed as she looked up at him. “Thank you, Jaime.”

“I’ve always been a sucker for crying woman. Especially a pretty one.” God, had he really just said that?

She looked up at him a bit startled. “You think I’m pretty?”

“I think you’re gorgeous,” he murmured. 

She looked stunned. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said softly. He wheeled his chair out from behind the desk and placed it in front of where she sat, not wanting to chance sitting down next to her, and then shut the door. That was a risk too. He sat down in his chair and leaned forward. “Why don’t you tell me about him?”

She did. And then, over the course of the week, he told her about Cersei. From then on, a bond had been formed. No longer did he see Sansa just a couple times a day, but he saw her often. And now, he sought her out just as she sought him out. He made it his goal to make her laugh. He found he hadn’t lost his humor or his charm after all. He even flirted with her, breaking his own rule. 

She was bright, sharp, sweet, and kind. She was generous and loved to laugh and tease him. She was unaware of the charms she possessed and he was pretty sure that sometimes she didn’t understand that he was flirting with her. It made him feel as though he was getting away with something he shouldn’t, which was much too exhilarating, and it also made him feel a bit like a lecher. 

She made him feel clean and dirty all at once. She did have a passion for life and because of her presence in his life he felt his own being restored. Cersei had sucked the life out of him like the succubus she was, but Sansa was mending him like the angel she was. 

xxxxxxxx

Their first kiss happened when Sansa asked him if he wanted to have brunch with her on a Saturday morning. He hesitated for all of a second. Weekends dragged on forever without Sansa. He spent his time watching Netflix and eating food out of cartons and wishing he had a life. 

Wishing he had Sansa. 

“Does your family know?” he asked her softly after he’d agreed to meet her at the diner she liked. 

She sighed. “No. Why? Do you want me to tell them?”

He looked at her and sighed too. “I don’t know.”

“Do you like me, Jaime?” she asked softly. 

He laughed sardonically. “Too much, Sansa. I like you too much.”

“And here I thought until a few weeks ago you just tolerated me.”

He was surprised. She really had no idea did she? “No, Sansa, that’s not the case at all. It would be better if it was like that.”

“Not for me,” she said quietly. 

And that’s when he’d kissed her. Right there in the copy room with the hum of the copier going. He wanted to devour her. He felt like he couldn’t get close enough to her. Her scent surrounded him and the feel of her supple body against his drove him mad in a way he’d never felt before. Not even with Cersei. 

“Your family would kill me,” he said against her lips when he broke the kiss long enough to let them breathe. Yet he kept her in his arms, not wanting to relinquish her just yet. 

Not wanting to relinquish her ever. 

“And me,” she said. 

“More me than you.”

The corners of her pink lips turned up at the corner and her blue eyes sparkled with mischief. “So we won’t tell them?”

He shook his head. “We won’t tell them. But, perhaps, we should find somewhere further away to go for brunch.”

“Then I’ll meet you at your place.”

And that was how it all began. 

Brunch did happen, but only after he had her against the wall near his door. Then she rode him in the car in the parking lot of his apartment because they’d been too out of their minds for each other to even make it inside. 

He had her twice more that day and had to stop himself from begging her to not to leave that night. 

They stole kisses and touches. They got brave and had sex in the bathroom at work. 

Jaime wanted her all the time. Everywhere. He felt like a teenager again. 

He told himself this was just a fling even though he couldn’t imagine ever ending it. He knew she had to go back to school in a few weeks, but he could not imagine going back to his life without Sansa in it. 

One night when he was deep inside her and close to cumming he told her he loved her. It spilled from his mouth as though it had been waiting to be released and he realized it had been for quite some time now. He loved her. He stopped moving and buried his face in her neck. Afraid now. Afraid he’d ruined everything. 

“Jaime?” she whispered worriedly and he felt her wrap her arms around him. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t mean it.”

She stiffened in his arms and then attempted to push him away. Was it possible he had hurt her by saying that he didn’t mean it? He caged her in with his body and peered down at her, at the tears in her eyes that she attempted to hide from him by looking away. 

“Sansa…Sansa, look at me, please?”

“No,” she said petulantly. 

“Why are you upset? Tell me.”

“No,” she said and tried to push him away. “Jaime, get off of me.”

“No. I want you to tell me why you’re upset. Is it because I said I love you or because I took it back?”

She looked up at him then, tears trailing down to the bed. “Why did you take it back?”

“Because I’m stupid,” he rasped. “Because I didn’t think you’d want to hear that or want it to be true.”

“Is it?”

He nodded. “It is. I love you so much I can’t see straight, Sansa.”

“I love you too, you stupid man.”

He laughed then, out of relief and happiness. He even welled up in tears himself. “I am stupid,” he murmured as he kissed her again and again and again. “Stupid, stupid, stupid….”

xxxxxxxxxx

The time came when Sansa had to return to school. For her very last year, thank God. 

They’d worked it out between them: Jaime would visit every other weekend and then they would have a month and a half at least during winter break. Then it would just be a push until summer. 

“And then?” Sansa asked the night before she was to return to school. 

Jaime sighed. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Tell your family for starters?”

She climbed onto his lap and curled herself around him. He held her tight, wishing he never had to let her go. Hoping he never did have to. 

“One step at a time?” she asked as she looked at him with those big blue eyes of hers. Those eyes he lost himself in time and again. 

“One step at a time,” he murmured and kissed her. “We’ll do it right.”

She smiled and ran her hand through his hair. “I love you, Jaime Lannister.”

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. “And I love you, Sansa Stark.”

He might have been stupid about a lot of things in his life he decided, but loving Sansa Stark was, to him, the smartest thing he’d ever done.


End file.
